Halloween Edition: Toilet Terrors

The end of October means a lot of things to me. The smell of autumn. Leaves changing. Bigger jackets. Carving Jack-O-Lanterns. Cute little kids dressed as pumpkins. Ridiculous college girls squeezed into costumes they probably shouldn’t be. Ah, Halloween time.

 

Also, this Halloween, with all the scary movies on the tube and especially after screaming as I shoved Matt past the zombies through the hallway in the Mesa Haunted House we went to last week (I think I left a grip mark on his arm), I think about the toilet terrors of Paris.

 

When Erika and I first arrived in Paris, her cousin Thierry took us on a little tour of his apartment. Kitchen, check. Bedrooms, check. Living room, check. Bathroom….well, I saw the shower. And I saw the sink. And then I saw this strange looking thing where a toilet should have been.

It was like a toilet minus the seat and lid. Baffled, and really having to go to the bathroom, I asked Thierry what was up with his toilet. He laughed and showed me where the actual toilet was….in it’s own separate room. What I mistook for a toilet was actually a bidet, used to, you got it folks, clean your butt.

 

This was only the beginning of the toilet terrors in Paris. One lovely sight-seeing day out on the town, after drinking one too many bottles of Perrier, Erika really had to use a bathroom. Suddenly we saw this strange metal stall, which kind of resembled a tardis (for all you nerds out there). The door opened really quickly and mechanically after she pushed a big button, it almost seemed like she was entering some kind of space pod. Finally, I guess she finished and flushed, but took too long getting out…..so the door automatically closed on her and wouldn’t let her out for another couple of minutes. These Paris porta-potties, also called sanisettes, are timed, and have automatic cleaners in them, which Erika got to experience as she banged from the inside of the door for 3 minutes. With me half concerned with her being stuck in a toilet, and half laughing at the crowd that had gathered to see the toilet attack the American.

Erika….after the possessed toilet released her.

 

Maybe blame it on the scary movie my brother made me watch when I was 4, the one where the monster came out of the toilet and sucked you in (yes I was unable to go to the bathroom by myself for atleast a month, for fear of the potty monster).

Either way, when all the scary and spooky talk comes out around Halloween, you may be scared of that black cat crossing your path. But me? I will be watching my back for crazy toilets.